HH ~ Hassles and Huggles

2004-04-02T02:44:00.000-08:00

I deleted the shape shifters blog today, its not that I have totally given up on losing weight its more that as i seem to be the only one posting in it, it made more sense to combine it with this one. So there we have it.

I am thinking seriously of splitting the leaves Blog, one for the Elf story and one for the ranger, think that will make it easier to follow. I must somehow get motivated again. I am hoping this is the start of it. Spring is on its way and I would dearly love to see my second book finished.

I am also thinking I might be tempted to draw up a collection of short writings and poems to make a small book of Hobbit humours, thats not humour in the funny sense as such but in a wide reaching feelings type thing. Well I'll mull that idea over for a bit.

I still of course have my website, need to update a little there and I am now seriously considering re working the news page. I do not like its layout thus far.

Well thats about all the time I have right now , Almost work time, oh boy!!
I will try hard to update more often tho.

Huggles

2004-02-20T15:55:00.000-08:00

Well Its been a long time since I posted in this Blog, poor thing probably wonders what the heck is going on and then some. I been really down, mostly it was post holiday blues, not surprising really seeing as I was so well treated in the US, and then to be home I just felt so alone, and yet I have my son, I know, but there are many kinds of lonliness and a son no matter how wonderful cannot fill them all.

So there we are, another thing that has had me sad is the ending of the trilogy, of course I knew it would end but it just saddens me that finally its over. I am going to miss the hype. I know many of the members at CoE will most likely drift away. I shall miss them, especially those I have become friends with. Will they keep in touch, at the moment its not looking good, but then I am an impatient hobbit sometimes especially where friends are concerned.

I have been struggling with work, I no longer find it fulfilling, there's some resentment over the broken ankle, a nagging worry that I am going to end up crippled in a few years, by which time it will be too late to claim compensation, truthfully I don't even know if I would be entitled. Then again there's a part of me, a loyal part that says suing them isn't the best way forward.

Sigh. I wonder what the future holds for me. At the moment I could hide away and cry, its just I know thats not going to help at all. Thing is I really dont know what will help. I wish I had someone to hug me right now.

Okays being practical there's no one to do that and so I shall do what I have done in the past and pretend, Elrond is my hero when the night get too lonely to bear.

2003-12-18T12:13:00.000-08:00

Well here's an interesting thing, a post from San Diego, where I am currently in lodging with Belle and FFNH, such sweet people to take in a stray hobbit, and they have kitties too. Pippin is a real sweet heart and tomasina is such a sweet thing, we are still hoping for Disney Land on Friday, and of course the big event saturday will be so much fun. I really cant wait!!

A couple of other thoughts one is wolves the other is Beleg, the first I'll hold on the second I will say hey kid I miss ya heaps I hope your exams are not dragging ya down too bad, if they are just look to Aaron and BS and know that they are there caring as I am. If its only in my thoughts I know you will be fine and come through with out things being too awful, no matter how they may seem. You are a special lady and deserve to have the most wonderful Christmas, bless you hun, see ya soon.

Oh I had a thought the other day which I think I'll share with you, Strangers are friends you are yet to meet. Life can be very sweet when you find people care, I was lucky enough to learn that recently when some of my realm members wrote a special story for me, coupled with the wonderful gesture from Belle, I know I am one very lucky Hobbit.

2003-11-09T10:40:00.000-08:00

Its been an odd week and Its getting odder, there should be reasons to celebrate but instead I am full of trepidation, :( I dunno I should be getting all excited for LA but at the moment I am under a huge cloud of doubt.

Thats about it really, the diets not going so well, its entirely my fault too, I've gained two pounds this week, gahhh!! I feel like a good cry and yet well it could be my cycle again, if it is then I got a couple of days until I'll feel better, I just feel tired and run down.

I am lost to what I should be doing at CoE these days, I still mod of course but as to feeling a part of it, well sadly I don't any longer. I am sort of hanging in there hoping things will come good again, I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't happen. There was a time I thought CoE would always be there, but now sigh!! well we shall see.

So there we go just a short post to keep those who are wondering, yet I doubt anyone bothers to look anymore. :(

2003-10-10T00:51:00.000-07:00

Eeeks another neglected blog smcks head (but gently cause I been busy) Well then lots to tell, the web site is growing, I've a few more things to add to the poetry pages and then hopefully I will be able to concentrate more on the Dragond Den, I am beginning to panic that I may lose a lot of stuff stored elsewhere, I really must make efforts to save all that information, so this is a job for the weekend.

I have to write a letter to Beleg, I have promised long enough so I am posting here to remind me Letter for Beleg okays that should do it.

More News I have changed online jobs, I have relinquished my position as an Rp Mod, in the end I got way too stressed, I didnt need that and the RP Forum deserved something better than a stressed out HH.

But the news is still good as I was given the chance to Mod the new Green Dragon Inn. Yay so I am pretty excited, as well as a little nervous, this will be the second new forum I have modded from scratch, looking forward to seeing this one grow too.

In case you are wondering where all this is happening, its at the Council of Elrond, link in the links section. I took out the tag board fron the Dragons Den, I decided that it just didn't want to fit neatly beneath the links and having the archives way down at the bottom of the page was just silly.

I am hoping soon to move the whole of that blog onto my website, I know that will be one less Blog, but I do have all these others and from the way things are going it will be a time before I can get more on my own site.

So yupp looks like I am going to be pretty busy.

2003-09-17T00:34:00.000-07:00

Well If you read my last entry you'll see I changed it, things being that I dont need to worry anyone, this is just a temporary setback brought about by my own stupidity. Okays so that said what can I tell you. Well I am looking into a very empty room where friends are concerned, but I know they have their own lives so I am not going to dwell on it. They know where I am and when they come say Hi they will be as welcome as always. I am not going to chase for their friendship, I am a good friend, and they know it.

I got to got out early today so I cant do much around the site, I am a little tired of things there, sounds bad but I was a LOT tired earlier, seems thats going to stay pretty much the way it is for now at least. So whats really bugging me, its the constant drain of not feeling useful.

I know I do a damm good job in the RP Forum, and I appreciate all the Hard work others do, yet they don't seem to know this, or choose not to acknowledge it. If I make a suggestion its always seen as criticism, thats not fair, its not me and for Eru's sake they should know that by now.

For example I made a suggestion it was time to change the name of one of the forums just a suggestion, yea well okays so they have the right to say no to change. But where were their suggestions?

okay I am done here, if I had more time I'd air a few more things but thats not possible right now, so I'll quit on a bad note for once, tho to me its good I actually mamaged to set down how I am feeling.

2003-09-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well here we go time to write another entry in the ole diary, sort of keep everyone up to date on hibbit life, If I could sleep for a week it might just help, I feel so very tired, not because I am not sleeping I just have a few personal probs, but like before i'll get past it.

I found out why the diet was stalled after this week it should be better again, though I did waver for one day, I just hope that waver wasn't too serious. Yea I think I like this diary better than my LJ one, I get to be honest here, well I am there too its just I am more reserved over there.

I had thought we could add images here now but I cant see a way to do it, what a pity, never mind, you'd hardly want to see too many of my pics lol. One day Ill take a good one. I am looking for an Elvish background I think one to go with my Elf song.

I had so many ideas for it but have yet to find the one I want, sometimes you just have to wait. mmm I dont think I have a link here to my site, I might have to fix that, perhaps tomorrow when I'm not so very tired.

I am going to try getting an early night tonight, want to try to see Beleg if I can, I sure miss her, but I had a lovely am today chatting to Aruin, hee he's a great guy. :)
right well thats pretty much it for now. Hugs to all.

2003-08-27T03:07:00.000-07:00

Well so here I am tho in all honesty it would be better if I was not. I am so fed up this morning, I got up early to work on my web site, but as usual I thought to do a stint at CoE first. Yea well that started it I guess looking at all the threads I'm currently in sitting there unused, gahhh! Its not bad Modding the RP when you have your own threads to play in, but when they are inactive every other thread reminds you of it. SOB!!!!!

Then I got to thinking of all my missing friends and how much I miss talking to them. Was a time I'd come online to find at least one person to chat with often more, it was fun and the hours spent passed so quickly, now I find myself sitting her longing for just one friend to say hello. Its lonely in my world these days and I miss you all so very much.

My web site, well its still growing all be it very slowly, I need to understand how to get a full story onling, what is the best way for people to be able to read it easily, its a long story when its finished it will be very long. I planned three books but already a fourth is looking to be written. I wish there was a way to set it like a real book with pages you turn and images and the like, can I do this I wonder? Yes if I can just understand how. I guess it would help to know what it is I am not understanding. Grrr

I think I need a script that allows you to move forward a page or back, to select a chapter, so it will need an index I guess, okays.

I have to restyle my first page to include liks to a guest book and I'd like a counter, and perhaps some way people could comment on the site. I just dont know how to do these things, well not yet. Its the page layout thats proving the problem, sinlge pages are okays you link to them and from them back to the index page. Its the main page I am struggling with, so much info and I'd like to post updates too.

Enogh about that tho, today its the lack of chat with friends that has me down, for all their reasons they can't be here I understand that they can't but I cannot help being sad, I truely miss them.

2003-08-24T01:45:00.000-07:00

Well here I am again and so far its been a busy busy time, I am for my sins beginning to build a new web site and for that reason I have not been around much, tho when I have I've posted pretty lengthy posts. But I do really want to get going on the site, the thing being I am now looking for a layout for one of the Main pages and that is prooving troublesome, I have a lot of Ideas its just matching them to the abilities I have, I guess I'll just have to go with what I have and redo anything that needs to be done as I go.

Of course housework and real life seem set to thwart me and my desperate lack of sleep is finally catching up, Trying to figure tables is no fun when you are still tired. But it is coming and I hope it will proove to be the site I have dreamed of these last few months. I am concentrating first on the Poetry section, trying to get this element up, Perhaps a story would have been the easier route. Hee well never mind I'll get there eventually.

2003-08-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

Okays the realms opened on CoE and I've been busy welcoming our new members, which is great cause its like meeting new friends, I was really tired this morning, still am but I will try to make a decent post here before I go offline. Couple of things,

I am going to try to build a new website, G** is going to help me, What a sweet guy, err Elf. heheeee I wonder if I can make it really special.

I am wondering if A** will come online anytime soon. I'd like to ask her if she got my gift. aww well hope it wont be too long. Ohh which reminds me I must appologise to Beleg, I do have your choc but as its so hot I am scared it would melt before she got it. So I have it I just will keep it till the weather gets colder. I posted in the Diet thread hehee it was good news. Well I know this is a short post but I am real tired tonight.

2003-08-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

Well its been a bit hectic, all the same its Sunday now time for a rest, huh!! Some hopes, I was up early today, well okay 6am isnt the earliest I've been awake, but it felt early, not that I am complaining cause I had an awesome morning, really it was fantastic.

I was co-writing with Bel, a post for 'A way to freedom' and it was just awesome. I think we really managed to capture the whole threatening electric atmosphere between the Strongbow and the Easterling Grimbald. I had thought to suggest very lightly that her character was abused by the Easterling, I think that would have most likely been the way he would have broken the Elf, but thats just not appropriate for a site like CoE, and so in the end he beats him instead, even so I think it managed to convey the desperation and the strength of the Strongbow. He's very heroic, of course but even so I think we have found a way for him to have experienced some of the torments his charges have suffered. I look forward to seeing how he now relates to them.

Well after such a post I feel pretty damm good, I always do. I rely on the threads to lift me from this world into a better place, theres nothing more satisfying than being proud of a really good post. None of this would have been achieved without Belegs help. So Thanks so much Beleg. You made my day.

I have a few other things to say . . . geee wordy Hobbit, lol. I was down yesterday evening, mainly because despite being on a diet I managed somehow to gain 1lb in weight. Sigh! Not at all the result I was hoping for. Still I will keep trying, maybe the week previously was worse than I thought. In which case it may take time to undo the damage.

We are very close to opening the realms now, for me this is very exciting, I have had to make one major change, the reasons for it were sound, still I am a little saddened that thing will not be as i first thought, perhaps that is may not be. I don't know yet, there may yet be a chance that things will work out as I had planned.

I am still findint it hard to cope without my friends online, I just miss them and wish I was able to know they are okays. For them its not such a big thing I guess, A*** at least does not need it, I guess then its just me. I wish I didn't miss them so much. I do, though just lately I have been trying the I don't care approach. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, still it seems a shame to have to pretend because you worry your are friends worrying about you.

Suddenly everything seems a big lie. I hate lies most of all. IF people would just accept I care too much, perhaps then they would understand that they can help by not treating me as if I am about to fall apart. I feel like they are avoiding me. Gahh thats absolute rubbish, but just . . . I wish they were here is all.

I am not going to finish on a sad note tho. I got my sisters suitcase ready to start packing for LA. Yupp I know its early but as its a long stay i need to carefull plan what I will put in it. Hopefully I will have someplace to stay. LOL. Well thats it for now.

Go read the A way thread. heheeee

2003-07-31T02:26:00.000-07:00

Right well I am a bit behind myself today, I had planned to add more to Sun/mondays posts mmm Can't remember why but it looks like I didn't make it. I tried to get a Guest book for this page but that also seems to have eluded me somehow. Well I shall have to try again. :P. Had a great chat with Brags yesterday in the end we managed to get him into both the Shape Shifters and the Leaves of Lorien Blogs, but gee it was tricky lol. Still all done now. :D Hopefully we will see some posts soon.

I am really pleased to see Snow Leopard has posted in the Shape Shifters, he has lost 7lb already, I just hope my weight loss will be as good. I would love to get into size 18 again, that might seem huge to some but to me it would be a great achievement, even better if it was a sixe 16. But lets not get too far ahead lol. Heee just hopped back to post congrats to him on losing 7lb already.

Work is going steady now, since we had the air conditioning put in its been soooooooooooo much better. You can actually think what you are doing. lol Of course the weather had to go and change didn't it. Bleugh!! Silly wetness. What else can I tell ya, ohhh I had a great talk to Beleg today. Its great when we get together she brings along SB and I bring Aaron and we have fun chats with em. Heeee well its a sort of chat role play.

Use to do a lot of that with K**. Sigh. Sometimes I miss her, I am still angry though and I haven't kept in touch. More than likely I'll regret that one day, but its no good trying to be friends with a person you don't like much. I try to forgive her but knowing she betrayed more than my friendship . . . Sigh lets not go there.

I am really looking forward to the realms opening soon now. Could be almost anyday now . . . *Excited giggles* I just hope I am up to the task of making it a good experience for everyone. Well I havent done so bad with the RP Forums so I guess that I'll be fine.

Yea It will be excellent!!!

So on that possitive note I think thats this post finished. *Huggles !!*

2003-07-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

Well this is sort of cheating as its still Sunday and I could have just edited my other post, but my mood is light now so I guess I deserve a new page so to speak. Been helping a friend on CoE come up with some Lord of the Rings style Christmas carols. Its been great fun only thing is my head is now full of odd odes lol.
Good Gandalf last went out . . . Silent night nazguls in flight . . . The Goblin and the Orc when they are both full grown of all the beasts in Moria the Balrog scares them all . . . and so on.

I am also pleased because I boxed up A***'s gift which means I can post it. I wish my letter to her had been more interesting, ahh well there's always next time. Oooh that reminds me I owe another CoE friend a letter, mmm well I can sort that tomorrow too. :D I am going to get the diet book tomorrow, I haven't much in the house, what I have I'll maybe take down to my sister so I am not tempted by it. For a while then I'll have to ignore it. Still I am willing to try this and who knows this time I might just succeed. It would be great to be slimmer for LA. :D. A slightly less round Hobbit would make me very happy indeed.

Well I think thats it for now.

2003-07-27T02:25:00.000-07:00

Well I wasn't going to post today, cause as it is I am not in a wonderfully good mood. Rather tired actually, but then I missed posting here yesterday when I was in a really fine mood, odd that, I guess I was just so busy with things, enjoying myself and in good company.

I met a new friend online, we have been sort of working on a little project for someone, gahh but I mustn't reveal too much. The Lady in question, the new friend is shy of her kindness lol. What is this? Are we to be so modest? LoL I dunno. Yes I understand, but sometimes I want to say, look here being kind hearted is something to be proud of, then we shouldnt be modest as well? Well yes but . . . So anyways I can't say what or who, just that it was a great pleasure doing.

A couple of set back arose. People clean out your e-mail boxes!!! How else am I meant to send you messages especially if you are not online often. Okays and then joy of joys the sad story of; sorry but we cannot deliever your e-mail right now. Hopefully by now they have been delivered tho.

I didn't get to speak to Brags today, his Msn is set to away. :( oh well perhaps tomorrow. Beleg and I had fun co-writing, if only my spelling was better. You guys have no idea the number of times I edit to make this comprehensible. But at least I try. I dont think we shall co-write to often tho, but now and again it would be fun. Did I tell you I added another blogg its here I am hoping to get most of the ppl I co-write with to join and then, well we may see some fun things.

Thing is I get so excited with this and find it hard to wait for everyone to catch up, which is why I now have some personal bloggs and a joint one, I mean I can just ramble here and not worry that I am out doing someone else, there's no gee you left me behind. But it is frustrating when people don't post.

So I was up extremely early, I dunno why, well yes I do it was because I went to bed early, I had planned to be online real early to catch up with people I keep missing, sadly it didnt work that way, which is why I feel a bit down. Its not real down just Sigh!! I miss them. I miss A*** and F*** theres really nothing quite like getting onto CoE and finding no one online, noooooooo its not that the site is down its cause of time differences. :P to GMT.

What positive things are there , well the sun is shining thats a good start, I am still up for the diet thing, also good althou, now hang on this is the good thread. Mmm Okays I got my washing done early on account of being up early. So that should mean it dries. Yay <--- little cheers.

Okays bad things, just that I miss my friends, and that I ate enough these last two days that will take me a t least a week to lose. grr. Other bad things my tooth is twinging . . . suspects its revenge but I hope its nothing after all I was brave enough to go to the dentist. ooh and that reminds me I should go to the Docs again. :P am putting that off for now.

Right final good thought for here. I wrote a great post for my of stars & moon blog.

2003-07-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

Its been a very strange day. Whats so strange? Well I have now yet another Blog, gee thats three and a forth may start soon. The new one is here This one is going to be quite something, as so far its me and my two younger sons who are all hoping to lose some weight. Lets see how we get on. If there are others who want in then well you'd best drop me a line and I'll see what I can do.

Brago has said he will join, I hope he can cope with my two sons. lol I'm sure he'll do just fine. Right well then I got permission from Bel and Brags to use their names in my journal, so thanks guys you are no longer B**** heheee Which I think is pretty darn lucky really.

Brago was a real friend to me this morning, yes I know I can feel you blushing from here Brags but it has to be said, there arent many shoulders I can cry on, its good that I know I have yours and that its okays to use it. Heck I felt so much better. Still do Look see positive note!!! :P to all those who say my journals are miserable. I would get up and dance if I wasnt so very tired. I posted again in my other Journal heee Plug plug!!here This one is just me and my thoughts as seen through the eyes of the character Elnineth. You will grow to know her if you revisit that journal now and again. It is almost 11pm I should really go to bed, but but . . . well I dont want too. However zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2003-07-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

Ohhh I have another journal heheheee this one is just for me, Its MY journal and Ill grump if i want tooo LoL You have been warned. Yeah yeah I know, I was going to make it an orc journal, but I aint nasty (mwahahahahaaaaaa) unless you count Grisnak, mmm maybe you don't know him? LOL too bad. :P

I wanted someplace I could rant without restriction, like when days make you feel sooooooooooooo P****d off, Sometimes its people who do it for you, sometimes its just you feel bad. Grrrrr

But I don't want this to be just a rant spot, I am after all a Hobbit and they are basically fun people. I just want to be able to relax here and say whats really on my mind.

So whats on my mind well mant things I guess, some are good, I am currently thinking about my forthcoming trip to LA, I am so excited. Theres so much I want to do. meet people I have known on the internet some like V** I have know for a year, some like N G only a few days. It will be great to meet them. I am truely looking forward with much exciting anticipation.

I had a wonderful chat with Brago tonight, it was great chatting to him, we were trying to decide if A***'* baby would have brown eyes. lol. I think she will and she will have red hair. We shall see. If my birth date prediction is right she will be a capricorn like her Mum, whatever Brags and me decided she will be beautiful. Not a hard decision cause her mum already is.

I have some things I must do, one thing is to finish coloring " comes in pints" I have three part finished fanfics, mmm they need work too but I am having moments of writers block, grrrr. Its not that I cant write at all its just what I am writing isnt inspired. That sound big headed but it doesnt sparkled like I want it too, so for the moment the fanfics are on the back boiler.

Ineed to start sorting things for LA, money wise I havent saved as much as I hoped, I keep trying to just bills keep piling in, well no matter I am going so :P to it all. I am going to try to find a way to get a picture of me here, I am so not compy wise It gets embarrassing lol.

But I am always trying to learn new things so who knows maybe one day I'll do it. Okays I think this is enough for now. For the most part I fee pretty good. Despite having to work all day and being tired I am Happy. Which is a good note to finish this post on. :)